| I came in empty handed and I left the same. |
[25 Jun 2009|08:28pm] |
So basically I'm having a lot of changes in my life right now.
The guy I was seeing that lived with me was seeing his ex and didn't
tell me, then my "friend" Fran was planning on moving out without telling me.
It's really cute how good my friends are. Good Riddance is the term, right?
She's changed and I'm not up for it anymore.
I still talk to Nick and worry about him.
He only cares about himself and drugs though,
so I doubt he even does close to the same. But hey, I think I'm a lot happier
in some aspects. Sometimes I still miss him and miss cute things we did,
We were pretty much hanging out every day for a year, so its kind of a head change, haha.
I'm not as close with Hailey as I used to be. I need to remember that she is only 17
and that's why she drives me nuts, haha.
BAMF had kittens, they're adorable. They all talk meow to eachother.
Bamf is such a good mom, it's cute. I'm proud of her and i love her little babies.
I need to spend more time at my house.
Its hard with all of the bad vibes and I feel awkward bringing people over.
And I want to like Fran, but every time I open my mouth to her all of this
hate comes out. It's pretty crazy, hah.
But yeah, fuck boys and fuck fake friends.
Holler.
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[16 Jun 2009|01:27pm] |
I broke up with Nick.
Good Riddance, he is such a horrible person.
I really wish I didn't waste so much of my time on him.
Ew.
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[14 May 2009|01:27pm] |
I deserve better.
I have too much love to be wasted on someone that has so much hate.
You could care less about making me smile.
This sucks.
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[06 May 2009|10:26am] |
Nick just got pulled over for his second time getting caught with marijuana.
I think that things between us are getting better, well I hope.
Hopefully he realizes what he has and not be such a dick all of the time.
But this time, I really don't want to stick around if it keeps happening.
Not worth it. Plus I could probably name ten guys off the top of my head
that like me. I really like his loyalty though. That's why I fell for
Nick in the first place. He would watch me go out on dates while he
liked me, and would pick me up from them when I get sick. I like being
the one to make him smile because hes so mad all of the time.
I want a man who is there for me through thick and thin, a guy that
would do just about anything for me, and vice-versa. Plus I am way
too exclusive. If you like other girls or talk about them all the time,
hit on them, or anything like that, I'm over it. I don't think that its
bad to feel that way. I don't want to be with a guy who would be with
anyone. I want someone that likes me enough to not even want to think
about other girls. I know that when I'm happy in a relationship I
don't even have other guys on my mind.
I'm excited to see Nick when he comes back into town.
I'm going to kiss the fuck out of him.
Plus he and I have great sex, I feel like.
I hope he doesn't go to jail. slkadjfiosadfs,mnf.
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[20 Apr 2009|08:10pm] |
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I secretly can't stand you and I don't know why I stay around.
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[02 Apr 2009|12:13am] |
Why can't I find anything that good again?
Are most men really that clueless or just selfish?
Probably both.
I don't usually hate on men,
but it's about time, hah.
Ew.
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[09 Mar 2009|09:40am] |
You really can't trust anyone.
It sucks.
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| Song that reminds Kenny of me. |
[21 Feb 2009|12:00pm] |
What's wrong with me?
Why do I feel like this?
I'm going crazy now
No more gas, in the rig, can't even get it started
Nothing heard, nothing said, can't even speak about it
On my life, on my head, don't wanna think about it
Feels like I'm going insane, yeah
It's a thief in the night to come and grab you
It can creep up inside you and consume you
A disease of the mind, it can control you
It's too close for comfort
Put on your pretty lies, you're in the city of wonder
Ain't gon' play nice, watch out you might just go under
Better think twice, your train of thought will be altered
So if you must falter be wise
Your mind's in disturbia, it's like the darkness is light
Disturbia, am I scaring you tonight?
Disturbia, ain't used to what you like
Disturbia, disturbia
Faded pictures on the wall, it's like they talking to me
Disconnecting on calls, the phone don't even ring
I gotta get out or figure this sh** out
It's too close for comfort, oh
It's a thief in the night to come and grab you
It can creep up inside you and consume you
A disease of the mind it can control you
I feel like a monster, oh
Put on your pretty lies, you're in the city of wonder
Ain't gon' play nice, watch out you might just go under
Better think twice, your train of thought will be altered
So if you must falter be wise
Your mind's in disturbia, it's like the darkness is light
Disturbia, am I scaring you tonight?
Disturbia, ain't used to what you like
Disturbia, disturbia, disturbia
Release me from this curse I'm in
Trying to maintain but I'm struggling
If you can't go-o-o
I think I'm gonna ah, ah, ah, ah
Put on your pretty lies, you're in the city of wonder
Ain't gon' play nice, watch out you might just go under
Better think twice, your train of thought will be altered
So if you must falter be wise
Disturbia, it's like the darkness is light
Disturbia, am I scaring you tonight?
Disturbia, ain't used to what you like
Disturbia, disturbia
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[09 Feb 2009|12:21pm] |
I don't feel like myself anymore.
People surprise you though, and I'm disappointed.
I wish that someone real and stable would come into my life.
Hmmmmmm.
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| <3 |
[02 Feb 2009|03:24pm] |
Puretone Stuck in a Groove:
Don't call me a space cadet
I know your name but sometimes I manage to forget
Maybe it seems like I'm far away
Looking at you not hearing what you have to say
I know I get distracted sometimes
And I'm always running late cos I get lost in my mind, and
I know it must seem rude but that's not an attitude
Everyday you tell me that my head's up in the clouds
Leave me alone cos I'm in the zone
and I'm never gonna come back down
Because I'm stuck in a groove
I didn't hear what you said
Because there's too many tunes going round in my head
Wahaha
There's things I should do
But I'm singing instead
Just being stuck in the groove
That's going round in my head
There's no doubt that I am afflicted
I'm totally obsessed
And I will admit it
Oh no, I'm not high
But I'm very much addicted to the music I like
You could say
It's my religion
My love is not based on a rational decision
So don't you take me for a fool
Cos I don't think like you
All I want is to be left in my own company
Time fades away, the night is the day
and the music sets me free
All I want is to be left in my own company
Time fades away, the night is the day
and the music sets me free
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| Maneater. |
[31 Dec 2008|09:30am] |
Everybody look at me, me
I walk in the door you start screaming
Come on everybody whatcha here for?
Move your body around like a nympho
Everybody get your necks to crack around
All you crazy people come on jump around
I want to see you all on your knees, knees
You either want to be with me, or be me!
Maneater, make you work hard
Make you spend hard
Make you want all of her love
She's a maneater
make you buy cars
make you cut cards
make you fall real hard in love
And when she walks, she walks with passion
when she talks, she talks like she can handle it
when she asks for something, boy, she means it
even if you never ever seen it
everybody get your necks to crack around
all you crazy people come on jump around
you doing anything to keep her by your side
because she said she love you, love you long time!
New years tonight.
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[17 Dec 2008|10:49am] |
I just got to thinking... the one man in the world that I thought I could actually marry died? What the fuck does that mean? The fucking ONE decent man I have met in nineteen years has to get killed by some fucking idiots? Ughhh I am soo mad! Life really is unfair. He is my proof.
I miss you and i love you more than anything.
I wish you were here to talk to.
I need your advice, and I need you.
From this point forward I am going to promise myself that I will not settle for some fucking asshole like everyone I know. I am going to wait for someone that actually gives a fuck.
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| Jessikahs blog |
[17 Dec 2008|10:40am] |
I fucking hate BOYS. I hate everything about the bloodsucking maggots. I hate their stupid fucking idiotic condesending words. Their lack of fucking commitment. The lies that escape from their filthy fucking shit filled mouthes. NEW PUSSY WILL EVENTUALLY BE OLD PUSSY AND YOU WILL NEVER BE FUCKING SATISFIED UNTIL YOUR DICK GETS OLD AND SHRIVELED AND FALLS THE FUCK OFF.. I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired of this typical MALE bullshit. This immature way of thinking and this OBVIOUS lack of confidence that can only somehow rise from sticking your fucking pecker in anything that moves. WHAT exactly is it that you fucking want? EVERYTHING YOU ASK FOR? To stop hating yourself for two seconds, long enough to maybe love someone else? WHAT DO YOU WANTTTTTTTTTTT? You will NEVER change, you will NEVER be good enough, you will NEVER be anything more than what you are right now if you dont step the fuck up and BE A FUCKING MAN for once in your god damn life. Is that too much to ask? Stick by your fucking word, think of me every once in a while, think of what would come from your actions BEFORE actually doing the shit OR JUST FUCKING LET ME LEAVE. Let me move on, let me find someone who TRUELY deserves me and my time.. Or i'll fucking do it on my own. ACTUALLY FUCK THAT, maybe sometimes what a LITTLE BOY needs, is a little fucking taste of their own medicene. What do you expect? For some poor girl to eventually realize that she loves you so much shes willing to give up her own happiness JUST to keep your sad little pathetic existence intact? DO ME A FAVOR AND OFF YOURSELF. Save me the bullshit, save me the heartache, SAVE ME THE FUCKING DRAMA. I'll give you something to stick your dick in, and then i'll pull the fucking trigger and blow that motherfucker to pieces.
I love it.
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| Small update. |
[15 Dec 2008|01:19pm] |
So I quit my job with teleperformance because I hated it. I start my new job today at Convergys. I have been partying pretty much every night since I quit. Lots of alcohol and drama. Every single guy seems to want to have a three some with me and one of my friends. Kind of annoying but whatever. I've definitely been Hustling. haha.
But yeah, I stopped talking to Nick because hes an asshole and when I left a party he talked a bunch of shit about me, like always. So I wasn't going to be played a fool. I said that I would be cool with him but I definitely wouldn't consider him one of my friends. I don't really like Kolby anymore either. He keeps insinuating threesomes with me and my friends. Hmmm, its not obvious what he has been using me for. I'm over it.
Anyways, I'm really nervous for my first day at work. I work 3pm to 11pm.
Wish me luckkk.
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| Party Hardy. |
[05 Dec 2008|01:07pm] |
Eight 30 packs of beer + 5 things of bitch beer + Vodka + Malibu + Jager = best night ever.
I have a hickie on my boob from Sydney.
I dominated every game of beer pong.
Of course. <3
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| Shannon. |
[04 Dec 2008|09:17am] |
Thank you for all of your good advice and your kind spirit.
I really appreciate it.
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| <3 |
[03 Dec 2008|04:29pm] |
Girls are only manipulative because they have to be.
Join the single train with Liz and Frankie, hah.
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| Gemini is like the wind, always in motion, lover of the new and exciting, here today, gone tomorrow. |
[02 Dec 2008|12:33pm] |
Who is fond of life and jest and pleasure?
Who vacillates and changes ever?
Who loves attention without measure?
—Why Gemini!
The third sign of the zodiac, Gemini is ruled by Mercury which represents intelligence invested in matter. The glyph symbolizes two pieces of wood bound together. In ancient times this was seen to signify the conflicts arising from contradictory mental processes. Geminis establish their relationship between the self and material substance through a balance of opposing thoughts. This bond may also be interpreted as the link between rhythm and form.
Earthlore Horoscope In Gemini we move from the action, reaction response of Aries, Taurus to the interaction response. The Gemini nature Interacts with the environment, investigating, learning, knowing and exchanging ideas. The intellect dominates Gemini, and all things intellectual are valued greatly. As communication is also of importance to Geminis, knowledge is never a thing to be hoarded. Seldom is a twin more entertained than in the midst of exchanging ideas with others of an intellectual nature.
Being the most versatile and changeable of the signs, Geminis are seldom what they seem to be. Chameleon like, they will take a stand, voice an opinion, decide on an option then completely change their mind tomorrow. Nothing is ever written in stone by Gemini. They are truly a free soul, driven by curiosity and a desire to know and do. They usually have several things going at once, and within such chaos, they thrive.
Geminis are bright, witty, entertaining and rarely get deeply absorbed in any one task. There are just too many things to do and know, and so many new people to meet. They prefer to skim the surface of many things, then to get deeply involved in one interest. If they do become drawn into something, they always feel they are missing out. It will always be what they aren't doing, or don't have, or the people they haven't met that intrigue them the most.
Geminis are optimistic people. All things are fresh and fascinating for the twins, it's the way they like it to be. They often possess the enthusiasm of a child. Routine is boring, and boring is not allowed. Restless, with an active imagination and a keen intellect, life must be lived to the fullest for Gemini. Perceived as a game, life is best played with swift moves and entertaining teammates. With the zeal of a sportsman, Gemini analyzes everything. They often possess a compulsive need to know the why of all they experience. A twin wants to know the causes, motivations, and dynamics behind everything and everyone they encounter.
Gemini Geminis are expressive folk, and this may manifest beyond mere speech. Often gifted with their hands, it seems whatever they touch does turn to gold. Their love of communication may also express itself as an affinity for languages, which they tend to pick up quite easily. Known for being great story tellers, Geminis have a knack of making life a little more interesting for the rest of us.
Gemini Morality is not an issue, and values are situational. Gemini's are usually affectionate, courteous, kind, generous, thoughtful, and superficial. They are attractive and interesting people who instinctively know how to meet their own needs and will do whatever it takes to do so. Although self interest is always the primary motivator in a Gemini person, they are also known to be honest, straightforward and without guile. They are what they are, and usually have no problem admitting their failings. Whatever they choose as a course of action is done out in the open without a measure of deviousness.
Other Gemini traits include: adaptability, ingenuity and cleverness. They are a mental sign and therefore logical, even brilliant at times, possessing a great deal of charm. However, it is important to remember that the symbol for this sign is twins, and that not all twins are alike. There are broad distinctions within the Gemini character. In contrast to the shining one described above is the shadow twin. On the turn of a moment, Gemini can become cynical, biting, moody and quickly angered. Inseparable as two sides of a coin, those born in this sign can be dazzling and irresistible or inconstant and irrational.
Gemini Geminis probably make better friends than they do lovers. They are entertaining companions and are more intrigued by the idea of love than the actual day to day involvement. Remember, what intrigues a Gemini is the unknown. Once something is familiar as an old pair of socks, the interest wears thin and the need for new worlds to investigate grows strong again. Geminis are fickle. This is not intentional, it is their basic nature to be so. Life seems too short a span to get very serious about anything for a Gemini. So, in love as in life, intensity of feeling is always fleeting. It is, while it is!
Physically, Geminis have a youthful demeanor, sometimes childlike. Gemini rules the arms, shoulders, hands, lungs and nervous system. They generally have a sensitive nervous system, and don't fare well under too much stress. As Gemini considers danger about as seriously as they consider the rest of life, there is a need to restrain a sense of heroic invincibility.
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| Chapter 1: Nodes of the Moon (Your Karmic Doorways) |
[02 Dec 2008|10:55am] |
North Node of the Moon in Aquarius
In a prior life love affair you were interested more in yourself and your own experience than you were in your lover. You had a sense of drama and romance and you tended to focus on what impression you might be making on others -- on whether you were impressing them with your good looks and innate sense of charm. You did have plenty of admirers, which only boosted your sense of your own appeal. Your slight self-absorption may have made your lover feel somewhat small and neglected by contrast, even though you had no ill intentions. Find out more with your full-length reading...
In your current life you possess that same innate charm and charisma that win people over in an instant. You have lots of admirers, plenty of people who are attracted to you and seek out your company. You are also a socially graceful person, which is even more attractive than your looks or charm. Find out more with your full-length reading...
If you are in a committed relationship, your love partner might once again, as in your past lives, feel a bit neglected by you. You are a powerful person who possesses incredible charisma; while you have a wonderful grasp of romantic gestures and settings, your lover might be left with the subtle sense that you're more interested in the impression you're making on the world at large than on your lover, specifically
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| Kolby. |
[28 Nov 2008|11:27am] |
Second from the right.
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